singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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