No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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