He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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