the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
