I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
