You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she peed on how many people?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
