Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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