i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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