You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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