Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
