Pants 0. Shit 1.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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