Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
