So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
