I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize