I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
This is classic penis vs brain.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
