You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ttyl tear gas
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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