Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize