Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize