did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
