I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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