i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My ass is underappreciated
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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