you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
