Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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