a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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