Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Will exercising make me less horny?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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