Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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