Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
