Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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