I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
