cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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