We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
