Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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