That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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