It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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