the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
