CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
