69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
