Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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