I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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