he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I pour the whiskey from now on
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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