How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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