Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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