Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He shit in the fireplace
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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