So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so let's talk penis.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
