do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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