I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
