i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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