Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
