I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
