Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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