Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
