Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
