I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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