And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
