Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize