if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize