another moral hangover. fuck.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
