I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
