i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
