I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
