Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
