Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
