You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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