non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
