I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
